One Year Ago Today

I am so happy you chose to stay mom

I love you

It is easier to build up a child

than to repair an adult.

Your words and actions
have power in your child's life,

use them wisely!

Loving the Fall Season

The leaves are beginning to fall and change their colors

One of my favorites, this was taken up Ogden Canyon

I love going for a ride in the Fall, any canyon, amazing! 

and then....SNOW!

Therapy

Some people find comfort,
maybe even a little bit of peace in visiting a graveside.
One may turn to this place to release emotions,
to think out loud, feeling that their loved one is "there"
I cannot escape to this place, Virginia is just to far away.
Someday, maybe.

I wish...with all my heart that I could  figure out why I have been so affected by Ethan's death.
A friend said, maybe it is because he was here, (in Utah)
4 years old, and all alone.
He had no-one to stand over him,
to fight for him, to protect him.
This beautiful boy lived here for just under 10 days with who he
believed was his mommy but turned out to be a monster,
a monster that lived with the Devil himself.
I have had such a struggle in finding my peace with all that Ethan endured.

I have visited a few gravesides; my grandparents, some close friends....
Quietly, I say a little prayer, I love you and goodbye,
until next time of course.
While I very much miss my friends and family that have passed,
I have never experienced the emotions that I feel
when I visit the sacred piece of empty ground up Ogden Canyon.
There is a place near Powder Mountain, Wolff Canyon to be exact,
just off the trail a bit, that Ethan Stacy's body once lied.
Although he is no longer there, even if it is not real,
I have found some comfort in visiting this graveside.
Thank you to my new/dear friend Klint for locating this grave
and marking it with such a Beautiful Justice Cross.

Justin and I along with Lucinda and Dave
went up to visit this past weekend.

I took 5 blue star birthday balloons
(Ethan would have been 5 on September 22nd)
and a soft light brown teddy bear to accompany the angel I left up there a few weeks ago.
Lucinda brought "bug" transformers!
A Bee, Dragon Fly and some other bugs, Perfect!!

I know he is not there, but visiting.... is my therapy.

I do believe that Ethan knows we're there,
he loves us and he's smiling down on us.
I also believe that Ethan's death will not be in vain.
I believe that Justice will be prevailed.
I believe in Triumph over Tragedy

I am very grateful, for you have given me so much angel.
You continue to influence my life everyday.
Keeping you close to my heart, as always.

Teddy Bear Kids K

Hunter & Brooklynn (my niece) participated in the Teddy Bear Kids K 1 Mile Marathon today for the Children's Justice Center. They received a shirt, a stuffed animal and a medal for crossing the finish line!

Hunter's Day of Fun & Fitness

Brook's Day of Fun & Fitness

Awesome Job! Love You

 Malia Me & Billye